Anonymous asked: Caaaan yoooou giive uuuus direeeeectioooons?
If you’re searching for Cthulhu, he’s supposed to be buried in the nightmare corpse-city of R’lyeh.
If you’re searching for Century 21, it’s across from Ground Zero, and you shouldn’t attempt it on a weekend.
Those are the two most common destinations I get asked about.
I’m pretty sure the musical episode of Grey’s Anatomy sucked.
cranky247 asked: Where have you been for the past few days? I'm worried about you.
Oh, hey, thanks. That’s nice to hear.
I was in a weird mood, so I just listened to “Set Yourself On Fire” by Stars over and over and over again and then cried a little bit.
But now I’m ‘illing off the coast of Northern California, and it’s pretty nice. The yuppies getting their Gestalt on at Esalen like to wave at me, it makes me feel connected, you know?
sxt asked: According to a bottle cap I read, “Hundreds of whales live around the island of Nantucket.“ Maybe you could move there?
Oh, God, THOSE whales. It’s all fuckin’ Vampire Weekend albums and whale ribbon belts and “a Kennedy nearly ran me over with his sailboat, it was EPIC.”
I’d rather stay lonely.
Well, it’s not. It’s “The Wrath of Khan.”
But, whatever, enjoy your vaguely species-ist assumptions about my cultural tastes.
You do realize that my parents LITERALLY didn’t understand me?
I was all OOOOOOAAAHAAHHHHHHEEEEE
And they were all EEEEEOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA
And after a few months of that, they just wandered off and left me.
That’s cool, I guess. Maybe it’ll turn out that they CAN hear me, but I have such a dumb name that they roll their whale eyes and move on without responding.
Like “Madison.” Or “Dakota.” Or…”Renesmee.”
But when you spend all day attempting to capture krill in your baleen anyway, what’s the difference? I already eat as much as I possibly can. I could totally have written the “Intuitive Eating” book.
deuxencore asked: how are things going down there, what with the tsunami and all? are you safe?
I mean, I’ve been in the vicinity of Japan in the past, but I actually prefer deeper waters to coastal regions. Just a personal preference. I make exceptions for Australia, though, because I like Australia.